Friday, October 25, 2013

we meet again...

Well, this is awkward.  I did that thing again: that thing where I abandon my blog for about a year...  Oops!  There seems to be a pattern: one year off, one year on, always beginning in autumn.  Maybe I just need to accept that there will be breaks -- it happens to the best of us. Sometimes I just get burnt out on having a public blog (no matter how small the audience) and need to hibernate for a while.

So what have I been up to?  Last time I posted, Audrey had turned one and was just beginning to walk.  Now we're counting down the days until her second birthday, and she does so much more than that.  I don't even know where to begin, but I guess I could start with the fact that she basically speaks in complete sentences now.  She is a charming little toddler!  She sings, dances, climbs everything in sight, and is extremely lovable (and mischievous).

As for myself, I was extremely depressed last winter.  Finally, in February of this year, I saw a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with social anxiety and a mood disorder... I began taking medication which has been AMAZING.  Things improved so, so much.  Honestly, social anxiety and mood swings have been a part of my life for over a decade.  But I always found a way to cope, until I had Audrey.  I'm not sure if I ever let it show, but I had extreme Postpartum Depression.  This went undiagnosed for over a year.  I constantly tried to rationalize what I was feeling as "normal mom stuff," but now any time I look at one of those lists of PPD symptoms, I can't even believe that I had myself and everyone else fooled.  Anyway, all that is to say that things were rough for a while, but they got better.  Like everyone in the world, I am a work in progress.

What else?  I've made a couple of real-life mom friends that I see fairly regularly for play dates.  I'm an admin for a fairly large group of moms on Facebook, which takes up a lot of my time.  We can call it "volunteer" work, but mostly it's just fun and incredibly fulfilling to be a part of something so big.  I've also found a really soft spot in my heart for helping people, and have begun setting up fundraisers for members of our group when they hit tough times.  It feels amazing to help people.  (Hey, who knew?!) I've also been doing yoga on a semi-regular basis for most of this year.  I really love it, and hope to be a little more consistent with my practice.

So now I'm just enjoying the amazing fall weather and our little family.  I'll throw some current pictures in here to entertain you... and hopefully be back soon with more to say!

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