Friday, October 25, 2013

we meet again...

Well, this is awkward.  I did that thing again: that thing where I abandon my blog for about a year...  Oops!  There seems to be a pattern: one year off, one year on, always beginning in autumn.  Maybe I just need to accept that there will be breaks -- it happens to the best of us. Sometimes I just get burnt out on having a public blog (no matter how small the audience) and need to hibernate for a while.

So what have I been up to?  Last time I posted, Audrey had turned one and was just beginning to walk.  Now we're counting down the days until her second birthday, and she does so much more than that.  I don't even know where to begin, but I guess I could start with the fact that she basically speaks in complete sentences now.  She is a charming little toddler!  She sings, dances, climbs everything in sight, and is extremely lovable (and mischievous).

As for myself, I was extremely depressed last winter.  Finally, in February of this year, I saw a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with social anxiety and a mood disorder... I began taking medication which has been AMAZING.  Things improved so, so much.  Honestly, social anxiety and mood swings have been a part of my life for over a decade.  But I always found a way to cope, until I had Audrey.  I'm not sure if I ever let it show, but I had extreme Postpartum Depression.  This went undiagnosed for over a year.  I constantly tried to rationalize what I was feeling as "normal mom stuff," but now any time I look at one of those lists of PPD symptoms, I can't even believe that I had myself and everyone else fooled.  Anyway, all that is to say that things were rough for a while, but they got better.  Like everyone in the world, I am a work in progress.

What else?  I've made a couple of real-life mom friends that I see fairly regularly for play dates.  I'm an admin for a fairly large group of moms on Facebook, which takes up a lot of my time.  We can call it "volunteer" work, but mostly it's just fun and incredibly fulfilling to be a part of something so big.  I've also found a really soft spot in my heart for helping people, and have begun setting up fundraisers for members of our group when they hit tough times.  It feels amazing to help people.  (Hey, who knew?!) I've also been doing yoga on a semi-regular basis for most of this year.  I really love it, and hope to be a little more consistent with my practice.

So now I'm just enjoying the amazing fall weather and our little family.  I'll throw some current pictures in here to entertain you... and hopefully be back soon with more to say!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

I owe you...

WOW, I am possibly the laziest blogger ever.  Managed to skip right over my baby's first birthday and Christmas!  First steps, too - she is walking now!  But as you can imagine, things have been busy.  It hasn't been my top priority to update here.

Here's a little collage of Audrey's first 12 months.  Is it just me, or has she looked about the same from birth?  I think it's the lack of hair.  But she's so much bigger.  In the first year she grew 10 inches and nearly tripled her weight!  She is my tiny giant.

And now... a video of Audrey devouring a cupcake!!  Enjoy. 

Alarmingly, looking through all of these nostalgic baby photos is making me want another kid.  Aaah!  This is how they get you!  You can't see all the sleep deprivation in the happy photos.  :)

I'll try to come back soon and catch up even further!  But to be honest, I've been much better about keeping my Facebook account updated with photos, videos and updates.  It's a little embarrassing.  If anyone would like to keep in touch with me there, let me know!  You will definitely get to see more timely pictures.  This birthday stuff is over a month old!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

baby's birthday checklist

Balloons: Check!

Pumpkin cupcakes: Check!

Sweet baby girl on the verge of being a year old: Check!
Tomorrow is Audrey's first birthday.  A year ago exactly, I was already in bed, trying unsuccessfully to get a good night's sleep, knowing I would meet my daughter the next day.  A year ago exactly, this little person didn't exist outside of my body.  I'm so proud that we made it through this first year; it has definitely been monumental.

Robert's family will be here with us tomorrow, celebrating Thanksgiving and Audrey's birthday! 

Note: that last picture is actually a few weeks old... Our big tree has lost most of its leaves now, and Audrey has outgrown that shirt!  Things change so quickly.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Audrey's First Halloween

Sorry it's been a bit quiet over here.   We've just been enjoying fall and living it up!  Audrey had her first Halloween.  As many events with a baby or toddler, it wasn't quite as fancy as I was hoping it'd be.  Before any trick-or-treaters had even shown up at our house, Audrey was already out of her costume and eating dinner, and then we had to deal with our doorbell ringing all evening while we tried to get her to bed!  But at least I got some cute pictures.
Last year vs. this year - oh what a difference a year can make!

I decided to dress up as a witch - too easy!

Time is flying and Audrey is growing so quickly.   We are now less than 2 weeks away from her birthday!  I can't believe that a year ago I didn't even know her.  She is the biggest part of my life now.  It's very strange to welcome a tiny person into your home and let them consume your life!  It's also the most difficult thing I've ever done, and probably the most worthwhile.  (That's one of those cliches that is just very true, no getting around it!) 

As much as she's grown and changed, she has always been the headstrong little person she is now, and I think we always somehow expected her to be this way.  She has a unique baby personality.  Robert put it this way the other day: "I love how she never just makes innocent little baby faces.  She always looks like she's plotting to kill you."  In the cutest way possible, of course!  This little girl is the personification of mischief and curiosity, and we love her so much.

She is into EVERYTHING.  She has taken a few steps now, and should be walking fairly soon.  I have a theory that it's difficult for her to balance because she grows so quickly that her center of gravity keeps changing!  But she's working on it.  She uses baby signs now: she knows "bath," (that was the first one she learned) "more," "all done," and "eat."  She has still never called me mama, but I think she can say the word duck.  She is a funny little thing.  Oh, and best of all, she is pretty consistent about sleeping through the night now!  Things are pretty good.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

October and Pumpkins

It's hard to believe that it's been nearly a year since my belly was as gigantic as a pumpkin!  Above and below: two pictures from last October.  We had no idea what we were getting into - haha!

I think October might be my new favorite month.  It's getting cold and there's an excitement in the air -- the rest of the year is basically one big party!  We have been keeping busy and participating in lots of autumnal activities.  Here are some pictures from lately.

Audrey practices to be a baby dragon for Halloween.

We went out to a farm that had a pumpkin patch!  It was a cold, windy day, and I'm going to attribute the scowls to how bright the sun was, despite the clouds. 

I just realized that Robert and this scarecrow are clothing twins!  Where's your hat, Robert?

Baby grumpkin in the pumpkin patch!

We were there with our friends Jen, Joe and Carissa (Audrey's friend!).  We met them back in January, so it's been fun to see how the girls grow together!  Carissa is 6 months older than Audrey and they're just starting to really interact.  It's so sweet!  Babies on tractors!

Tomorrow we're heading out of town for a weekend in Memphis.  We're meeting my sister and her husband there, and I'm so excited about them getting to play with Audrey.  They haven't seen her since January, when she was just 2 months old!!  She has so many new baby tricks and skills.

How is everyone's October going?